Couples

Most married people thought that falling in love and the desire to be together for a lifetime was all they needed to insure a satisfying, lifelong relationship. Unfortunately the statistics on divorce prove this to be untrue. Over 50% of first marriages end in divorce and over 67% of second marriages.

Many couples did little or no work before getting married to design a relationship and a future together that they knew would last a lifetime. I have found that making sure that you have a strong foundation in place is the best defense against the storms that you may encounter over a lifelong span of being related.

What are the elements of a strong foundation?

First of all you need a shared purpose for being related. Why are you married? What common purpose keeps you related? For instance are you married so that you won’t feel lonely? This would be a weak foundation. Everyone feels lonely at times whether they are married or not and depending on your partner to keep you from feeling lonely is usually disappointing to say the least. A strong foundation of purpose could be to support one another in fulfilling life goals or dreams, to support your children and provide a safe, loving, stable home, or to fulfill a mission (i.e. to save animals, to travel the world giving care to the homeless, etc.)

Secondly you will need to know what you require, need and want from your mate. Once you have determined this, you will need to understand how to communicate your desires to your mate and negotiate for a satisfying resolution.

Thirdly, you need to understand that at the heart of all “issues” is an unfulfilled need. If you can identify the unfulfilled need quickly and find a satisfying solution for both parties, your issues will not destroy your love for one another.

Next, you must have “Core Agreements”. These are basic agreement which come from your requirement, needs and wants that have each partner feel safe and secure no matter what circumstance come along in a lifetime of being together.

Finally, you must learn to listen to your partner from their perspective or as if you lived in their world.

I offer a number of products and services to help you repair, rebuild and/or build newly this strong foundation.
Click here to view my offerings.